Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet face the full implications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and secured multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the illness.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the present time," he said.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's going. We understand that. But there is definitely a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the condition worsens.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I process things differently, and once I have the facts, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Indications
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some reduced power in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the issue, a series of scans indicated nerve cells in his central nervous system had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this medical finding of MND and we're rightly extremely moved about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't sense sick. I don't experience sick
"My indications are very minor. I have some muscle deterioration in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I remain able to doing anything and everything. And optimistically that will continue for as long as is attainable."
Illness Progression
MND can develop quickly.
As per the charity MND Association, the illness kills a third of people within a 365 days and above half within 730 days of detection, as swallowing and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Therapy can only slow decline.
"It isn't ever me that I feel sad for," added an affected Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Consequences
Talking from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with feeling when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was quite devastating," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and started removing the moisture off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody explained the focus was being in the moment.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be very militantly directed on just welcoming and savoring everything now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been truly lucky that the primary decision I made when I left playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those periods back."
Athlete Link
Elite competitors are disproportionately impacted by MND, with studies proposing the prevalence of the disease is up to 600% higher than in the general population.
It is thought that by restricting the O2 accessible and producing harm to neural pathways, consistent, strenuous exercise can initiate the condition in those already vulnerable.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his brave, unwavering style to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a training equipment and began participating in tackles.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the line-out in the critical passage of play, setting a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing drop kick.
Support Community
Moody has already notified Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a couple of other previous players about his diagnosis, but the rest will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a period when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the present, just having that sort of love and recognition that people are available is what's important," he stated.
"Rugby is such a great family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to consider your enthusiasm your vocation, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so long a time with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will want to help in every way they can and I await having those conversations."
